October 2011 Issue

Invite the Grinch to Celebrate

I’ve been focused a great deal on customer service lately. And I guess this is as good a time as any to comment again as we head into the fourth-quarter-make-it-or-break-it selling season, where our customers are ready to shop, celebrate ... and virtually report how we did on every level of service to their peers.

How I love and hate this age of virtual commentary. One thing the specialty retail business has going for it is that it’s not the restaurant business; but the retail business is only one heartbreak behind what our family business deals with on a minute-by-minute basis: online customer reviews complete with photos.

So watch out, the next customer coming through your door might be a valued con- tributor at Yelp.com, TripAdvisor.com or the myriad other peer-to-peer virtual reviewers out there.

Remember when secret shoppers meant a company you hired to see how you and your staff performed ad lib? Those days are over. Today’s secret shoppers have a completely different agenda. I am reminded of this now as I travel to Peru (for more on Peru, click here) on Delta. I have had a great trip so far, even though I have not left the ground. I am a member of the Sky Club, so I was able to work while I waited for the flight (a privilege I pay a hefty tariff for annually).

I also have a good “status” with Delta and I have paid for the Economy Comfort Seat on this flight (can you imagine having your customers so scared to lose their status and be treated like third-class citizens? I sure wish I could figure out how to accom- plish this in the magazine world!), so as I type, I am sitting a class above the cattle a row behind me (albeit with no Business Class curtain, only a $40 surcharge).

Anyway, as we were preparing for takeoff, I heard this “good old southern” flight atten- dant I will call Jane talking about the crazy people she met already on the flight. “He was trying to argue wit’me about baggage ... Uh-no you don’t,” she exclaimed to her “nice” passenger audience. “You want a $4,500 fine ... keep on talkin’!”

She continued on. And on. I tapped the man on the shoulder in front of me and said, “Thank goodness she’s working the other aisle this flight.”

He smiled and laughed, “Don’t be messing with her!”

I sat back and listened as she continued to list the things that annoy her about argumentative travelers (aka Customers) all the while a flight attendant call button was dinging and dinging and dinging.

Finally, Jane took notice and said, “Will someone stop that God-awful noise? Michael, can you see what’s causin’ that racket? Lord, it’s driving me nuts, been goin’ off since we started.”

It took a bit for me not to laugh out loud (admittedly, I was afraid of getting on her bad side). Instead, I directed Michael to the two call lights behind me. And quietly turned to my writing.

As I began this column, all I could think of was a rude, obnoxious, horrid diner (aka Customer) I had over the weekend at the restaurant. On a busy Saturday night (no excuses), during which we served 178 happy diners, this person swore at my staff about an overcooked steak, complained (rightfully so) at the second cooking. And then accused me and my line cook (my husband was off that night) of collaborat- ing against him to ruin his night. He swore up and down at me, in front of my staff and his six table mates. He told me he could not trust what would come from our kitchen next (even with the offer of cooking his meal again to go so he would not leave hungry). All he did was swear, profanities that at the airport or on a plane would result in at least a one-night stay behind bars.

And yet, my only reply was a smile and “I am so sorry I can’t satisfy you.”

Boy, I wanted to smack him. And so did my staff. But that is not the industry to which we belong.

For those of us in what is left of the “ser- vice industry,” there are no fines we can levy for bad behavior. We simply have to make it as right as possible and hope the reviews end up great in the end.

Back to that night, I passed out four deli- cious homemade desserts to the table of seven. The guests, six of them, clamored for them and celebrated with great sugary abandon. The obstinate guest in question pushed the plate away, saying he would not touch anything from “that kitchen.” His friends shrugged, dove in smiling and enjoyed as he bowed his head and pouted for the remainder of the meal.

Later, I apologized to his friends for not being able to make it right for him, and they apologized to me for his language and attitude. And they added, “What a beautiful restaurant and fantastic meal. Thank you.”

And that was it. I smiled, “See you soon.”

Good luck this holiday season. And, remember, the Grinch is only as powerful as you make him.